“Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”

12 May, 2021

It feels like I can't breathe and then the feeling of emptiness come to make it even worse. It feels like I can't run away and hide, I can't find anyone to trust my balance... so I wait, I wait for it to cease.

I had panic attacks in my teenage years, and I also faced phobias. I tried to search for help from a psychologist but it didn't work for me, so I went through it by myself. I had succeeded, at least until now.

I've been suffering from anxiety attacks recently, and this is the sensation... or at least it's a close explanation of the feeling. It's something new for me, as much as awful. I don't know where they came from, what triggered it, but I'm almost facing an anxiety attack per night.

I would love to say that my family -the ones who are close to me- help me, but they don't. I'm too scared to tell them how I feel because they proved to me multiple times that mental health isn't "a thing" just cause they don't get the importance of it.

I have wonderful friends who offered me help and I'm grateful for it, but they aren't close to me to be there when I'm facing an attack.

I'm alone again facing my mind, as I did years ago. 

The question is: will I make it through it or it will consume me alive?


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